Thursday, May 28, 2009

A Sad Day.

Tonight on my way home from work I saw someone I knew standing on the porch of the homeless shelter waiting to go in for dinner. I cried all the way home. This is a person that I have known all my life. There is nothing that I can do for this person. The path they have chosen has taken them down into a very dark, bad place. Only when they admit that they have a problem and ask for help can anything be done for them. I can not, no, will not, allow myself or my family to be pulled into that situation. This doesn't make me a bad or uncaring person. It makes me one that realises that unless this person wants to be helped there IS NO WAY I can help them. When I got home Hubby John, as always, was there to comfort me and to help me sort out what I was feeling. HJ said I should be thankful that this person has hot meals and a bed to sleep in and that they are not sleeping in the park or eating out of garbage bins. This logic is true and it has helped me to calm me. I am still teary eyed because I do care about this person and always will. I pray nightly to my God for protection, compassion and intervention for this person. I pray that they seek treatment to make their way back from the dark place they are in now. I will help them as much as I am able when that time comes. But then and only then will I be able to welcome them back into my life. That day will be a happy one but today is a sad day.

3 comments:

Marilyn Miller said...

Yes, it is sad, but you are right about not helping until the time comes.

I met a lovely lady this week and offered help, but she did not want to be helped. I keep thinking of her and will keep in touch. Maybe the time will come when I can also help.

goddess in the groove said...

Lois, there are times when you can only stand by and be there when the time comes. People cannot be "saved" if they are not willing to save themselves. It is depleting for all involved. It is hard seeing someone we love in a sad situation. Hope you are feeling less sad...

Gingham Skies said...

I'm sorry I missed this post, Mom.

I don't like to see you sad, it's not often that I see tears in your eyes; I wish I could wipe the hurt away.

Dad is right, there are places willing to help the person you are speaking of if he wants it - not that it makes your heart hurt any less. I'm proud of you for staying strong and saying no in order to avoid enabling him, as difficult as it may be to do so.

If only he could recognize that his actions are hurting not only him but the people who continue to care about him regardless of his poor choices.

I love you mom. I'm sorry that you are having to witness the self-destruction of someone you care about. You deserve so much better.