It’s 5:00 o’clock on Saturday morning and here I am, wide awake, sitting half naked at this stupid computer while asking myself, “WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER”? All I wanted was a glass of water. At this time of the morning I don’t care if the glass is half full or half empty. As long as it is cold water, I just don’t really care. When I woke up, I must say I was surprised. Pleasantly surprised that is. Yes, it was 5:00 AM but that is better than 3:00 AM which is my usual “wake up in the middle of the night” time. Baby Cat Oscar meowed to question what the heck was going on. Even he knew this was not our middle of the night wake up time. 3:00 AM is the time for us to haul our butts out of bed to go to the bathroom, get a drink of water and get a tiny handful of crunchy bites. Um….let me clarify that statement….the crunchy bites would be for Baby Cat Oscar, not me, and he gets them only if I am awake enough to maneuver the basement stairs and I am not too cranky. Then he gets lucky. Stupid cat.....smart me. I know, I know, you all think Baby Cat Oscar is the smart one because I go to the basement to give him crunchy bites, and that I am some kind of idiot to do that at three AM. You all think that I should just pee, get my drink and then stumble back to bed. And sometimes I do that. BUT sometimes I have flashes of pure genius in the wee hours of the morning and I think to myself……if I give Baby Cat Oscar some crunchy bites now, then he will let me sleep in an extra 10 or 15 minutes in the morning when I hit the pause button on the alarm. Because when that alarm goes off he does not stop…..meow...meow…meow….meow…push paw…push paw…push paw…meow…meow…meow…. and after being told, in a not so nice way, to buzz off….he will find something to make noise with, whether it is the door, the carpet or just purring loud enough to wake the dead. So you see, crunchy bites at 3:00 AM are pure genius for my part. It's sort of like giving a baby an extra ounce or so of milk in the wee hours because you know you’ll reap the rewards later that morning when the baby sleeps in for an extra half hour or so. So I really am one smart crunchy…I mean cookie.
But I digress. So let’s forget about the crunchy bites and I will get back to the clock. It has been, for years, that I wake up at 3:00 AM. I must have had something happen in that time frame,in a previous life, that has scarred my psyche because it is so very rare that I wake up at any other time during the night...um I mean morning.. So, for me, seeing the clock say 5:00 AM instead of 3:00 AM. is quite a pleasant surprise. Sigh….life is so good! Now falling out of bed ….well that was not so pleasant but it’s still all good. I am fine. Nothing got broke and I made it downstairs in one piece. I know I really should put on my nightgown when I go downstairs but who’s going to see me naked? Baby Cat doesn’t mind and if Hubby John saw, I know he wouldn’t mind. And if the neighbors are looking in the window, well I really don’t care if they mind. A bad scare like that would serve them right for looking in my window, wouldn’t it? In the back of my head though, that little voice of reason, and I do mean little, keeps saying over and over….”What would happen if you fell down the stairs hit your head and were unconscious and HJ found you and called an ambulance and they came to take you to the hospital? HJ would not think to put your nightgown on you before he called for help. Strangers would be looking at you….naked at the bottom of the stairs…..How embarrassing would that be??? So when I got downstairs I grabbed a towel and put it around me before I went down the basement stairs to give Baby Cat Oscar some crunchy bites. That explains my half nakedness…one large bath sheet wrapped around me which is making me feel hot….but I think the AC is kicking in so that should help cool things down. As for the water, I grabbed my glass from last night, checked for spiders, took a sip and decided the water was too warm and so I fed it to my spider plant that hangs in the kitchen window. Isn’t that odd? I hate spiders but I do like my spider plant. Huh…go figure. So after the plant, Baby Cat Oscar and I had our water and BCO had his crunchy bites and we both used our own loo’s, we were on our way back to bed when I started having a sneezing attack. Great….just great! I grabbed a handful of tissues, came into the office and started to try to blow my nose quietly so as not to wake up Hubby John. Now I know that that is one of the stupidest things I do….really…..it is! HJ snores so loud that a bomb could go off beside the bed and I swear he wouldn’t hear it. So me sneezing and blowing my nose downstairs in a room on the opposite side of the house from where he is sleeping is not going to wake him up. I know this……but I still go into the office, every time an early morning sneezing attack starts. Just so I don't wake him up. Aren’t I a good and caring wife? Take note HJ….see what I do for you and you don’t even know it. I certainly hope you think of this at anniversary time…hee..hee..hee!
I just now looked at the time and realized I have been drinking, peeing, sneezing, feeding Baby Cat Oscar and typing away for over an hour. Baby Cat Oscar is sleeping and snoring on my feet. So I’ll wake him up and then the two of us are going back to bed. Hopefully I will fall back to sleep….right away. If not I’ll count sheep….or better yet, crunchy bites.