Friday, July 25, 2008

HOW TO WAKE UP AT 3 O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING.

Wake up with allergy attack at 2:45 AM.
Sneeze, sneeze, blow nose, blow nose, have whole head completely clogged up.
Go downstairs, blow nose, get drink of water, blow nose, blow nose.
Sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, blow nose, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze.
Debate on whether to take allergy pill, yes, no, yes, no....maybe.
While still 90% asleep and still drinking your water, get a sudden epiphany for great idea for Christmas decoration.
Go to computer, turn on computer and go to EBay. (at my age you do it when you think of it or loose the brilliant idea!)
Search for desired item.......in this case starfish...
Have Big Guy Oscar cat come in and crawl up on your chair.
Have chair become 90% occupied by said cat.
Have no light on so the only light in a dark room is from computer screen.
Have nose pressed up really close to screen because you didn't put on your glasses.
Have spider walk across screen while your nose is almost on screen and therefore spider is almost on your nose.
Loudly and vocally use explicative word while at the same time trying to escape offending spider by pushing chair away from spider and desk.
Make mental note to self to always have chairs with rollers on them whenever possible.
Wake up sleeping cat who starts complaining while you almost fall off chair because of violent backwards motion.
Get up, search for something to whack spider with, as the cat watches spider prance around computer screen.
Find a sandal in front hall.
Go back to office and find spider, which is now roaming all over your desk .
Whack offending spider with appropriated sandal.
Clean off sandal and desk, move cat over and take back your 10% of chair.
Roll chair, cat and self back to desk.
Turn on your nifty, thankyouverymuchJohnVincentandSarah, computer light, so no more spiders will lurk in the dark or on your computer desk or screen.
Breath deeply while still shuddering and try to get heart beat down to acceptable rate.
Go to your Blog to record incident in the annals of history.
Go back to looking for starfish on EBay because now you are wide awake and not capable of sleeping.
This is how to wake up at 3 o'clock in the morning.

5 comments:

tammy vitale said...

awwww - don't you know spiders in the house are good luck?! (my daughter and husband don't agree but that's what my Mom used to tell me and I believe her - hence the spider on my blog). Congrats on the Wylde Women award and thanks for passing it along - greatly enjoyed reading your blog!

tammy vitale said...

p.s. gave you a shout out over at my blog this a.m. 7/31 - if I didn't just erase it all by closing the wrong window! (I think I saved it - I think I saved it - I think I saved it)

Dawn said...

Hilarious....found you via Tammy's blog - this made me laugh so much, great piece xxx

Sweet Somethings by Lois said...

Thanks for dropping by and letting me know you were here. I hope to hear from both of you again sometime soon.

MoziEsmé said...

Sounds like a good plan!